Stop right there! I see you ogling that totally wicked Abenaki Tiger Shirt. You know, the one with that ferocious beast on the front with the face that says ‘Don’t F**K With ME!’ and that totally nifty green tiger design on the back…
Yup, you’re checking it out and wishing, in so many ways, how you’d just LOVE to wear that bad boy to school, home, the bar, in line at Starbucks, the movie theatre and/or any other place you wanna look like a total bad-ass.
‘Specially at work. Imagine how completely epic you would look wearing a tiger on the job. Seriously, if anyone even glanced at you funny, well, hot dang, you’re wearing the Abenaki Tiger Shirt dude and have a major fierce looking tiger that could tear your boss a new one.
Attitude is everything, son.
Click the Pretty Link, Win the Abenaki Tiger Shirt
OK, so here’s the story. On a normal day you’d have to pay for this really epic shirt designed to help Nature’s most scary-lookin’ felines because, well tigers are endangered and all.
And it’s true. Tigers really are endangered. That’s why we designed the Abenaki Tiger Shirt in the first place – to help rescue tigers from Circuses, poaching, exotic animal trade and any other fuck-twits who would do them harm,
Well, here’s the deal. I’ve pulled a few strings. Then I summoned all the power of the Universe and hopefully even a little karma from Hoover the Rescue Tiger and came up with the following:
Enter the Abenaki Tiger Shirt Contest. Yes, it’s that easy. Click that hypnotic link that is…staring…at…you…and…calling…you…and…
Answer the skill-testing question (which, believe me will challenge even the most genius among us). Then, check your email and confirm your entry in the link sent to you.
And guess what?
There’s a totally half-decent chance you’ll have an Abenaki Tiger Shirt of your very own sitting on your doorstep for – are you ready for this? – I am so excited to say this…
Go on, give it a whirl! That’s how it works. Gaze back up at that link. Then, just let it happen. Come to the Dark Side (Or just think of cute Tiger emojis) and enter the Abenaki Tiger Shirt Contest.
‘Cause it’s over on November 29!
Hooray for Tigers! Hooray for Tiger Shirts! Hooray that I’m the CEO of Abenaki and I do what I want! (Not you, buddy, ME!).
Go on. Do it. I double dare you…
Aw Heck. I’ll make it even easier for you. Enter the Abenaki Tiger Shirt contest below this line! (Yes, this one…)