You’re a very beautiful great white shark. You’ve got a great job as an apex predator who establishes balance in our oceans, and you’re a celebrity too, being the first great white shark documented to cross the stormy Atlantic.
Now I don’t normally get involved in affairs of the heart other than my own species, dear Lydia, but I’ve got to speak up. There’s something on my mind. Rumour has it you travelled from Florida to Newfoundland with your girlfriend because you were looking for a little great white action. And something tells me you’re not on Match or eHarmony – I don’t think they have a category for sharks just yet – so I’m going to do something really unusual. I’m going to be the first great white shark matchmaker in, well…history, I think.
Bear with me on this Lydia. Rest assured that I AIN’T setting you up on a blind date or trying to be a busybody. I just know that we all need a little help sometimes when it comes to finding the ‘Right One’. And I know this guy very well because I dived with him off Mexico back in 2007.
I’d like you to meet a good friend of mine. In fact, he’s my favorite great white shark on the planet and a much-loved fighter at Isla De Guadalupe off Baja California. He’s the real deal Lydia. His name is Shredder – an 11-foot piece of great white warrior who ALWAYS makes an appearance and can’t stay away from a little excitement. Other sharks might be shy or even cautious but not Shredder. Just look at those scars Lydia – he ain’t afraid of NOTHIN’. And he’ll stick up for you no matter what life throws at you.
There’s a funny story about Shredder Lydia that I think you’ll like. About ten years ago, when humans first started diving with your kind at Guadalupe, Shredder was one of the first great white sharks to interact with these funny looking things called ‘shark cage divers’. And in true form he made himself known – he BIT through a steel cable and severed the anchor so the boat started drifting! Imagine how quickly those crazy humans got out of the water! And they’ve called him ‘Shredder’ ever since!
True story Lydia. You can easily spot our handsome suitor too – he’s the shark with a ‘shredded’ dorsal fin. Check him out. Isn’t he hot?
You Need to Connect!
I’ve been watching your movements with a shark tracker Lydia. Seems like you move around a lot. You’ve been wandering around the Atlantic. For a while there we thought you might need a European passport because you came so close to the United Kingdom! Well here’s the deal Lydia. We’re all looking for love in our own special way. I think Shredder is your guy – but you’ll need to cross oceans to meet him first.
Hold on now Lydia. I know what you’re about to say. Long distance relationships don’t work. I’d agree with you on that one, but we know you’re a traveller. Heck, you surprised us all when you swam from Florida to Newfoundland (and stopped off at Sable Island along the way!). You’re obviously a traveller Lydia, so get on it. Who cares if Shredder’s in the Pacific Ocean at the moment? He’s probably in the White Shark Cafe looking for love as we speak! Swim through the Panama Canal if you have to!
So to conclude, I hope you’ll put the whole separate oceans thing aside and look at the big picture. Guys like Shredder don’t come along very often, dearest Lydia. Even among sharks, our man Shredder sticks out. Please give the dude a chance, Oh Lady Lydia. I’ve got a feeling you’ll make baby great white sharks together and continue to make our oceans a healthy place.
PS: Here is in action Lydia. Make your move soon, cause he’s a hot one!